Tag / infertility

by adena

I think I’m — maybe — pregnant…

Tested this evening on two separate stick tests. Cheap-o and First Response. Now am 15 days post trigger. Both came back, well…

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Holy shit. I still won’t know if this is real until mid next week — and then I have to get through tons of miscarriage risk. But between the obvious nausea and waking up early and crazy dreams, I feel like this might be legit.

Which is good… because I just got another bill in the mail for $1300 for a blood test the RE had me take. I can’t keep up with all the bills… we’ve now spent $5500 on this infertility stuff, and that’s long before IVF. Really, really, really hope I’m pregnant so I can start putting money towards my kid’s college fund and diapers and crib and such vs spending every last cent on trying to get pregnant.

That said — now, I’m starting to get (very) concerned about multiples. I know it’s crazy to go from thinking I might never have kids to worries about multiples (all while still not knowing if I’m actually pregnant) BUT it’s quite possible I conceived twins… given I had two mature eggs. I’m a little concerned about twins for all the obvious reasons — but I did have this dream as a child to have twins and given I’m going to be almost 35 when giving birth and I want at least two kids, twins would be ok (as long as they’re healthy and I’m healthy, etc – and once I get over freaking out about how to handle TWO babies at once.) But, any more and… I don’t know how I’d react to that. There were other smaller follicles but the doctor made it clear the risk was twins, not more. Stranger things have happened, though, according to what I’ve read on the internet…

For such a strong reaction this early on (the nausea, the headaches at implantation, the very dark lines at CD 28 and 15 days post trigger, only 13 post ovulation… I feel like something is up. First pregnancy so I have no idea… but, I do know I’m not supposed to be feeling morning sickness until week eight!)

Well, I’ll know I’m pregnant or not next week… but I won’t know if it’s twins until January. Oy gavult. This is so stressful! I know I shouldn’t worry about it until we get there, but… the risk is real. Oh, life, you’re so strange…

by adena

Happy Birthday to Me?

Well, it’s my 34th birthday. I never expected to be 34 – and any expectation I had of myself being 34 definitely included driving around a gaggle of children in the backseat of a beautifully-fugly minivan. Given I’m now a walking biological clock – and I want at least two kids — I know it’s now or never.

The trigger shot MAY still be in my system. I originally planned to take my first post-trigger pee-on-a-stick test today. I’m using the cheapies right now, so they could also be off. But I’ve tried them plenty of times before and they always show up w/ no line (except the one time I tested two days after trigger, just to confirm they worked at all.) So, the fact that they keep showing lines is promising. The line did get lighter last night and today it’s definitely there but faded. No “BFP” as they say (Big Fat Positive – who comes up with these terms?)

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Chart is looking good… but temp spike this am could be due to all the eating and drinking at Thanksgiving last night! Tomorrow will be the real test… if I DID ovulate on the 10th of November, today is 14 days post ovulation and AF (Aunt Flo) should come tomorrow. Even though my body has a mind of her own, I seem to be fairly consistent in the 14 day Luteal Phase, and bleeding promptly on day 15. (Without the medicine Femera I apparently ovulate too late, if at all – but if I have the temp spikes I’ll see AF there, shiny her happy red face, 15 days later.)

As far as how good this could look right now… this is looking very good. That doesn’t mean that a) the trigger shot is still in my system (though the line definitely got darker from two tests three days ago so I think that’s unlikely) OR b) it could be a chemical pregnancy (my current concern) which means that it didn’t actually stick properly or 3) it could eventually be a miscarriage, which is so common with women who have PCOS. In short, even though it’s my birthday, I’m still trying not to get my hopes up!

This weekend (and Monday) will tell all. If my period isn’t here by Monday am, I know something’s up. I’m going to take my first blood test at 6:30 on Monday morning. Originally the doctor said I could take my first blood test today BUT they aren’t open today or on the weekend, of course, so I’m waiting until Monday. That makes sense anyway, since by Monday either I have started my period or… I’m probably at least somewhat pregnant.

Happy Birthday to me?

 

by adena

Cycle 2: CD 19 – Should I Be Hopeful?

Trying really hard not to get my hopes up. So far this whole TTC with PCOS thing has been brought to you by believing I probably can’t have kids. But I have a feeling (and a tiny hint of data) that this cycle may be different. And, why wouldn’t it be? I get to take my first pregnancy test on my 34th birthday.

Why do I think I might be pregnant? Well, I haven’t had any implementation bleeding yet, but apparently not all women get that. My BBT chart leads me to think this could be the cycle for BFP. It also could just be my body freaking out after being shot up with HCG a week ago and releasing a bunch of eggs. I’ll find out fairly soon.

I’ve read a bit about triphasic charts when you are pregnant… your temp starts low, it goes up after you ovulate, and then, after implementation it goes up again if you have the right amount of progesterone to stay pregnant. Two days ago, which was 6-7 days post ovulation, I had a dip in my temps (down to 97.3) and then it went back up. That’s either a fluke, or a good sign. It seems a little early to be an implementation dip (I triggered on CD 11, which means I likely didn’t ovulate until CD 13 — but with the trigger shot and what I was feeling I wonder if I released a little early. It’s apparently possible 24 hours after trigger but usually around 36.)

So far, my chart looks like this:

CD 11: trigger (9pm)
CD 12 (0 DPO): slight temp rise and strong ov. feels (97.3)
CD 13 (1 DPO): very strong rise (98.0)
CD 14 (2 DPO): remains strong rise (98.1)
CD 15 (3 DPO): possible corpes luteum dip  (97.4)
CD 16 (4 DPO): up again
CD 17 (5 DPO): slight drop
CD 18 (6 DPO): major drop – too early for implantation??? (97.3)
CD 19 (7 DPO): up again
CD 20 (8 DPO): possible triphasic shift (98.3)
CD 21 (9 DPO): tbd
CD 22 (10 DPO): tbd
CD 23 (11 DPO): tbd
CD 24 (12 DPO): tbd
CD 25 (13 DPO): tbd
CD 26 (14 DPO): — * 34th birthday
CD 27 (15 DPO): tbd
CD 28 (16 DPO): tbd

So – I think the CD6 drop was too early to be an implementation dip. The only thing that I think could have happened is that I somehow ovulated before the trigger shot (my follicles seem to grow really fast on Femera, as the doc told me to trigger the next night when I had one at 19 and one at 17) at my CD10 ultrasound.) There was a slight temp rise (from 97.0 baseline to 97.3) on morning of Trigger shot, then the next day it shot up to 98.0, so ovulation happened somewhere in there.)

Right now, all there is to do is wait. I was a little defeatist the other day when my temp dropped so significantly, but it’s a relief to see it bump back up. I’ve hit 98.3 in prior cycles in post ovulation, so it’s not strange for me, but according to temps this cycle it could be the start of the triphasic shift. Or it could be meaningless.

My BBT test times are a bit all over the place this cycle too — so it’s not 100% accurate. And I had one night of horrible sleep. But I’m hoping there’s something to it.

If we get pregnant this cycle, it would be amazing. It would mean not having to worry about spending $30,000-$100,000 on IVF treatments. So – we could buy that new couch we’ve been wanting…  and a crib. 🙂

 

by adena

Cycle 2, CD 12: Day After Trigger Shot

This Femera + Trigger Shot cycle has been similar to the one I did last spring at the other clinic, with the exception of my Trigger Shot being bumped up a day. Last time I triggered on CD 12 and this time my RE told me to trigger on the evening on CD 11.

I understand so little of the logic behind any of this, but I think some clinics are more risk-averse regarding multiples. This clinic certainly is (they only implant one embryo at a time for IVF) so perhaps they wanted to trigger sooner than later, in case other follicles caught up and released. My doctor did clearly state that I have a chance of twins since I had two large-ish follicles.

Interestingly, my body reacted to the cycle almost identically as it did to my last Femera cycle — one fast-growing, large follicle on the left side (that I can definitely feel) and a couple of medium and small sized ones on the right. The one on the left grew from 15 mm to 19mm in between my CD 8 and CD 10 appointment, so I guess it’s safe to assume that it was about 21-23mm when I triggered the night of CD11. Who knows what the others were, if any in the right ovary were ready to release.

Right now I’m massively thirsty and I feel a lot of action in both of my ovaries. They are very sore and bloated. I am looking forward to ovulating so this discomfort can go away… unless, of course, I do get pregnant from this cycle – and there will be more discomfort, but at least it will be for a good reason. 🙂

I’m not getting my hopes up but I know there’s a possibility I will get pregnant this cycle. I’ll find out in a few weeks one way or another. If I am not pregnant, I’ll likely let my body have a natural cycle which will take us through the remainder of the year, and start trying medicated again in January.

For the record, the cost of this cycle was $960 ($800 ultrasounds and bloodwork, $150 trigger shot, $10 femera), bringing the total costs of infertility treatment to date to $3745.50.