I think I’m — maybe — pregnant…

Tested this evening on two separate stick tests. Cheap-o and First Response. Now am 15 days post trigger. Both came back, well…

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Holy shit. I still won’t know if this is real until mid next week — and then I have to get through tons of miscarriage risk. But between the obvious nausea and waking up early and crazy dreams, I feel like this might be legit.

Which is good… because I just got another bill in the mail for $1300 for a blood test the RE had me take. I can’t keep up with all the bills… we’ve now spent $5500 on this infertility stuff, and that’s long before IVF. Really, really, really hope I’m pregnant so I can start putting money towards my kid’s college fund and diapers and crib and such vs spending every last cent on trying to get pregnant.

That said — now, I’m starting to get (very) concerned about multiples. I know it’s crazy to go from thinking I might never have kids to worries about multiples (all while still not knowing if I’m actually pregnant) BUT it’s quite possible I conceived twins… given I had two mature eggs. I’m a little concerned about twins for all the obvious reasons — but I did have this dream as a child to have twins and given I’m going to be almost 35 when giving birth and I want at least two kids, twins would be ok (as long as they’re healthy and I’m healthy, etc – and once I get over freaking out about how to handle TWO babies at once.) But, any more and… I don’t know how I’d react to that. There were other smaller follicles but the doctor made it clear the risk was twins, not more. Stranger things have happened, though, according to what I’ve read on the internet…

For such a strong reaction this early on (the nausea, the headaches at implantation, the very dark lines at CD 28 and 15 days post trigger, only 13 post ovulation… I feel like something is up. First pregnancy so I have no idea… but, I do know I’m not supposed to be feeling morning sickness until week eight!)

Well, I’ll know I’m pregnant or not next week… but I won’t know if it’s twins until January. Oy gavult. This is so stressful! I know I shouldn’t worry about it until we get there, but… the risk is real. Oh, life, you’re so strange…

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