The HPT line is even darker today. Despite the headache of visiting two infertility clinics and spending now $5500 out of pocket for fairly preliminary treatment, I have to say I’m thrilled it worked so quickly (knock on wood.) I’m in a bit of shock… as any woman pregnant with her first child might be… and now just waiting the beta blood tests this week to confirm what I already know – and words I never thought I would say: I’m pregnant.
Now, comes the future. And eight months of not eating deli meats and avoiding all alcohol and caffeine and not lifting heavy objects. Then one (or more?) babies who turn into little people and grow up to become hopefully well-adjusted adults. In due time.
Even though we were very actively (via infertility treatment) trying to get pregnant, it didn’t feel real. You just played the lottery every month and hoped. It’s unlikely you win the lottery. But this clinic was on point in my cycle. My last clinic, to be fair, did basically the same thing – although some of their instructions were different. But the clinic I am at now (Nova) — which had a ONE YEAR WAIT to get into — did not force me immediately into IVF, but instead said to try the Femera with TI and Trigger (Shot) for a few cycles. I was about to jump straight to IVF, but they said to try a few more times.
The major differences this cycle, I was given birth control pills for two weeks to clear out my system, and I had a hydrosonogram (not to be confused with an HSG test) which may have opened my tubes with the saline they squirted through them to check out the health of my uterus. Other than that — I had one ultrasound on CD 8 and one on CD 10 (vs CD 9 and CD 11 at my last clinic) but the resulting directions there was the same – trigger on CD 11 at night. Each time I produced two mature follicles – one larger one in my left ovary (my left ovary is a powerful little beast) and a smaller one that’s still big enough to possibly release in my right.
Now, there is the chance BOTH fertilized. There’s also, albeit a tiny chance, that another follicle caught up and grew quicker than normal — or that one of the two split and we could be looking at triplets (or more, who knows.) I shouldn’t get ahead of myself here… but there is a reality that twins could be in our future. We won’t know for sure until January or later. Right now, I need to focus on confirming I’m pregnant, and hoping that I don’t miscarry — I’ve read so many stories of women who are Fertile Mirtles but who miscarry every child they get pregnant with — so I’m a tad worried about that.
But I also feel like the universe decided it’s my time. I’m 34. Universe gave up on me maturing any more and is now confident I’m the best mother I’ll ever be.
Well, it’s my 34th birthday. I never expected to be 34 – and any expectation I had of myself being 34 definitely included driving around a gaggle of children in the backseat of a beautifully-fugly minivan. Given I’m now a walking biological clock – and I want at least two kids — I know it’s now or never.
The trigger shot MAY still be in my system. I originally planned to take my first post-trigger pee-on-a-stick test today. I’m using the cheapies right now, so they could also be off. But I’ve tried them plenty of times before and they always show up w/ no line (except the one time I tested two days after trigger, just to confirm they worked at all.) So, the fact that they keep showing lines is promising. The line did get lighter last night and today it’s definitely there but faded. No “BFP” as they say (Big Fat Positive – who comes up with these terms?)
Chart is looking good… but temp spike this am could be due to all the eating and drinking at Thanksgiving last night! Tomorrow will be the real test… if I DID ovulate on the 10th of November, today is 14 days post ovulation and AF (Aunt Flo) should come tomorrow. Even though my body has a mind of her own, I seem to be fairly consistent in the 14 day Luteal Phase, and bleeding promptly on day 15. (Without the medicine Femera I apparently ovulate too late, if at all – but if I have the temp spikes I’ll see AF there, shiny her happy red face, 15 days later.)
As far as how good this could look right now… this is looking very good. That doesn’t mean that a) the trigger shot is still in my system (though the line definitely got darker from two tests three days ago so I think that’s unlikely) OR b) it could be a chemical pregnancy (my current concern) which means that it didn’t actually stick properly or 3) it could eventually be a miscarriage, which is so common with women who have PCOS. In short, even though it’s my birthday, I’m still trying not to get my hopes up!
This weekend (and Monday) will tell all. If my period isn’t here by Monday am, I know something’s up. I’m going to take my first blood test at 6:30 on Monday morning. Originally the doctor said I could take my first blood test today BUT they aren’t open today or on the weekend, of course, so I’m waiting until Monday. That makes sense anyway, since by Monday either I have started my period or… I’m probably at least somewhat pregnant.
Happy Birthday to me?
This morning’s new symptoms = me catching a cold. Well, I’m not quite sure if it’s a cold, or if the air is just super dry. I had another crazy intense dream last night, but I do get weird dreams on occasion. At least, unlike the night before, there were no giant snakes this time.
Temp is still up, but no third shift yet. The TWW does go so very slowly. Still expecting AF on Saturday. I’ve felt like I’m “just about to get my period” for the entirety of the time after taking the trigger shot, so all of this is my body being extra sensitive to these meds. I shudder to think how I’ll handle those crazy IVF drugs should we need to move on to that!
I won’t know for another 2 weeks, still, but I can’t help but constantly wondering if every little thing I feel in my stomach is something happening… an embryo turning into a little human, preparing for implantation. I know, scientifically, it’s impossible for me to feel any of this right now — but I definitely feel something going on.
Two weeks is a short amount of time and a very long amount of time to wait. Because two weeks turns into six weeks when the next chance comes along, and six weeks turns into 10 and so on… plus, thousands of dollars more buying a glimmer of hope.
My BBT chart looks good so far (see below.) That’s meaningless as well, but at least it looks like the trigger shot did, indeed, induce ovulation. It looks like I had a fallback temp drop on post ovulation day 3 (CD 15), followed by a return to the higher temp today. The goal is to see the temp stay high and then eventually bump a little higher, which would be a sign of pregnancy. Or the flu. You know, one or the other…