Author / adena

by adena

The line is definitely getting darker…

13 days post trigger, 11 post ovulation, and I believe, at this point, 6 days post possible implantation. Temp is dropping a little bit — down to 98.0 from 98.2… but the HCG tests are definitely getting darker. It doesn’t make a ton of sense for the line to get DARKER 13 days post trigger unless perhaps somehow it decided to “concentrate” to confuse me.

I’m not sure if the tests remain accurate once they’ve dried up… but this is about what the lines looked like after the 5-ish minutes of testing. The one on the right is the oldest (from 2 days ago) and the one on the left is from just now / today. While the other days the line didn’t really show up until even after 5 minutes past taking the test, this line popped up much faster. It’s still not SUPER dark, but I’m starting to assume that if it’s the trigger shot / fake BFP it would be strange to get darker instead of lighter over the last 3 days.

I ordered a digital pregnancy test in the mail and it shows up Saturday, so I’ll take that test then (or I’ll get my period, since that is when I should get it if I’m not pregnant.) If I haven’t gotten AF by Monday I have a 6:30am appointment for my first blood test. I hate to get my hopes up, but I’m feeling really good about this cycle. Maybe too good.

The symptoms have generally went away for now… I was super nauseous and headache-y earlier this week. I felt some cramps this morning and was convinced it’s AF starting, but then I also have (TMI) “typical early pregnancy” constipation – horribly – so it could just be that… or, it could be I’m sure sensitive to the trigger shot AND am going to start bleeding tomorrow or Saturday, and be back to square 1. I really hope I continue to see a line tomorrow… since I HAD planned to take my first test then (my 34th birthday) but… I have no patience when it comes to these things.

[[below — left = today, middle = yesterday, right = 2 days ago]]

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by adena

Managing Infertility at Thanksgiving and the Holiday Season

Although I miss my family, I’m glad this year we’re not making the trek across the country to see them — where we’d face at least subtle, or not-so-subtle, hints about how we should be having children. It’s expected of us now, a year-and-a-half after getting married, both in our mid 30s. We should be pregnant – right now.

Of course, we’re not… because we have our infertility struggles. But my two week wait is not proper small talk for holiday dinner table conversation. So we talk around it. We don’t talk about it at all. I avoid going home to see my family because – even though many of them do know that I struggle with infertility – there is still the question of when we’re having kids. No one understands exactly what this infertility thing means. To be frank, I don’t either.

The holidays are certainly one of the hardest times of the year to be dealing with infertility. If we didn’t want kids, it would be easier. But knowing we want them and having to avoid questions about when we will have them is harder than I initially thought it would be…

by adena

CD 22, 12 DPO: Awake at 4am, TWW Almost Over

Despite being exhausted, I work up not-so-bright and early at 4am this morning. I took my temp, which theoretically should be lower than prior temps waking up a full 2-3 hours earlier than normal, and it came in at 98.2. That could be a good sign.

Pee-on-a-stick test yesterday showed no HCG within first 5 minutes, but when I checked this morning the line on it was darker than the one I took the day before. The tests aren’t reliable after that long, so it’s meaningless – or is it?

Going to get a Beta blood test on Monday. Friday is the earliest I can have this done and the office is closed then. I figure if Ms. AF doesn’t come over the weekend, something is up, and it’s worth being human pincushion once more to find out if the cycle worked… or discuss options to start a new cycle of treatment, and another $950 investment.

by adena

CD 21: Hopeful, with a Cold?

This morning’s new symptoms = me catching a cold. Well, I’m not quite sure if it’s a cold, or if the air is just super dry. I had another crazy intense dream last night, but I do get weird dreams on occasion. At least, unlike the night before, there were no giant snakes this time.

Temp is still up, but no third shift yet. The TWW does go so very slowly. Still expecting AF on Saturday. I’ve felt like I’m “just about to get my period” for the entirety of the time after taking the trigger shot, so all of this is my body being extra sensitive to these meds. I shudder to think how I’ll handle those crazy IVF drugs should we need to move on to that!

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